because I so feared the crowd

Job 31   1"I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl. 2For what is man's lot from God above, his heritage from the Almighty on high? 3Is it not ruin for the wicked, disaster for those who do wrong? 4Does he not see my ways and count my every step? 5"If I have walked in falsehood or my foot has hurried after deceit— 6let God weigh me in honest scales and he will know that I am blameless— 7if my steps have turned from the path, if my heart has been led by my eyes, or if my hands have been defiled, 8then may others eat what I have sown, and may my crops be uprooted. 9"If my heart has been enticed by a woman, or if I have lurked at my neighbor's door, 10then may my wife grind another man's grain, and may other men sleep with her. 11For that would have been shameful, a sin to be judged. 12It is a fire that burns to Destructiona; it would have uprooted my harvest. 13"If I have denied justice to my menservants and maidservants when they had a grievance against me, 14what will I do when God confronts me? What will I answer when called to account? 15Did not he who made me in the womb make them? Did not the same one form us both within our mothers? 16"If I have denied the desires of the poor or let the eyes of the widow grow weary, 17if I have kept my bread to myself, not sharing it with the fatherless— 18but from my youth I reared him as would a father, and from my birth I guided the widow— 19if I have seen anyone perishing for lack of clothing, or a needy man without a garment, 20and his heart did not bless me for warming him with the fleece from my sheep, 21if I have raised my hand against the fatherless, knowing that I had influence in court, 22then let my arm fall from the shoulder, let it be broken off at the joint. 23For I dreaded destruction from God, and for fear of his splendor I could not do such things. 24"If I have put my trust in gold or said to pure gold, 'You are my security,' 25if I have rejoiced over my great wealth, the fortune my hands had gained, 26if I have regarded the sun in its radiance or the moon moving in splendor, 27so that my heart was secretly enticed and my hand offered them a kiss of homage, 28then these also would be sins to be judged, for I would have been unfaithful to God on high. 29"If I have rejoiced at my enemy's misfortune or gloated over the trouble that came to him— 30I have not allowed my mouth to sin by invoking a curse against his life— 31if the men of my household have never said, 'Who has not had his fill of Job's meat?'— 32but no stranger had to spend the night in the street, for my door was always open to the traveler— 33if I have concealed my sin as men do,b by hiding my guilt in my heart 34because I so feared the crowd and so dreaded the contempt of the clans that I kept silent and would not go outside— 35("Oh, that I had someone to hear me! I sign now my defense—let the Almighty answer me; let my accuser put his indictment in writing. 36Surely I would wear it on my shoulder, I would put it on like a crown. 37I would give him an account of my every step; like a prince I would approach him.)— 38"if my land cries out against me and all its furrows are wet with tears, 39if I have devoured its yield without payment or broken the spirit of its tenants, 40then let briers come up instead of wheat and weeds instead of barley."