unreasonable?

Can I have Both? The problem with faith is... if I have an explanation then I don't really need faith. If I can explain it, then I don't need God. WOW !!! this is a slippery slope I dont' really want to go there!!! should I rather have Jesus? (sic) trafficking in reason is very empowering.... and knowledge puffeth up heady... high-minded... on the other hand biblical obedience and faith can be quite humiliating.... or rather, humbling so, he is putting down my sister i'll show him I'll humiliate him !!! love the ones who are dispitefully using you and persecuting you... this is so.... not reasonable !! revenge is sweeter i'll just call it being kind to the sister... walking the natural walk.... is natural..I don't need God for that ! faith is impossible without God and without faith... it is impossible to please God vengance is mine I will repay says God... and... if the enemy is hungry...for love... feed him...love..God's love if he is thirsty for caring show him that you care.... this is impossible unless... God does it through me.... this is how I know for sure that there is a God !!! if we live in the spirit let us also... walk in the spirit. PS. I am not saying there is no explanation... I just want to be careful that I have not explained away my disobedience.