i was wrong

.....my attitude towards other people and my

self-obsession—I had a lot to think about in my

life that I wasn't very proud of. For the first

time in my life, I realized I'd made a mess of

things.

 

I began to see the whole thing closing in on and

me and getting worse and worse and worse and

worse.

 

I began to have different values and a different

attitude. I began to study the Bible....taught

me lots of what I needed to know as a Christian

and helped me to live my faith.

I'm watching everything I've worked day and

night to build collapse around me.

 

 

As much as being worried about my own future, I

think that was what had me searching for

something more meaningful in life.

 

 

 you don't make any close friends... no one

does. I realized how easily everything you put

your heart and soul into for two years, three

years, four years could go down the garbage.

That was the disillusioning part.

 

My biggest regret is that I saw things going on

that I should've known were wrong or I knew were

wrong but then I rationalized them away. I

didn't say anything. I should've spoken up a

number of times and said, "Wait a moment, this

isn't right," and I didn't. That's my greatest

regret.

 

What do you think stopped you?

to be perfectly honest, I wanted to stay in the

inner circle. It was self interest.

 

A person who rushes through life mostly using

people. I thought much more about my own

self-interest than anybody's else's. That led to

the breakup of my first marriage; I was

responsible for that.

 

I can't imagine I lived the way I did. I cannot

imagine. I shudder when I think about it,

because I feel so totally differently about

life. Now, please don't get the impression that

somebody who's a really bad guy and then all of

a sudden finds Christ, the next day he's a

saint. It doesn't work that way.

 

I've discovered that every year you grow a

little more than the year before. It isn't like

all of a sudden you turn a switch and you go

from A to B. You do in one sense, because your

whole worldview is very different; you realize

you've got to see things the way God sees them,

not the way you do. So that part changes fast,

but it doesn't immediately reflect itself in how

you live. That part takes time.

 

Paul, who was the greatest apostle of the

Christian Church, said, "I die daily." He meant

the old Paul had to die so the new Paul could

live, and I think if we're honest with

ourselves, we all need to do that. 

  

I kept a lot of my old friends. And I have to

tell you, over a period of time, many of them

became believers.

 

Even to this day, I go out of my way to spend

time with people who are in the same position I

was in before my conversion, because I know how

much they need to find Christ, and how much they

need to have hope in their lives. I don't just

stop seeing people.

 

...it was part of what I needed as a Christian:

to see how other people lived, to be in a

position where I was helpless and had to learn

how to lean on God.

 

The prevailing view well into the 1970s was that

crime is caused by environmental factors—by

dysfunctional childhoods, by racism, by poverty.

So the criminals became victims, victims of

society, which to me didn't make sense. Then I

came across two people who were doing studies on

criminal behavior, and they came to the

conclusion that crime is not caused by

environment or poverty or deprivation. It is

caused by individuals making wrong moral

choices....WHY ????

 

Samuel Yochelson said something very, very

significant; he said crime is caused by people

making wrong moral choices. The answer (to crime)

therefore is the conversion of the wrongdoer to

a more responsible lifestyle. I think that's

exactly what a Christian conversion is: to leave

a wrongful style of life behind and realize, if

you want to follow Christ, you have to live a

different way. I think that's the answer... to every

problem...(to the crime problem..)

 

 

Of all the religions and philosophies in the

world, Christianity is the most interested in

people who've made mistakes, because it says you

can repent and be forgiven and start over again.

Buddhism doesn't offer that, nor does Hinduism,

nor does Judaism, nor does Islam. Christianity

is the religion of second chances....I talk

about the fact that you can be forgiven of your

sins and be given a new life. In Hindu

countries, their eyes open like saucers because

they've never heard that. I think Christianity

is one of the most tolerant of all religions

when it comes to making mistakes.

excerts from Colson...my testimony, his words